


I Walk Alone

by Willow_Angel



Series: Cherik Playlist [3]
Category: X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Charles Xavier has a Ph.D in Adorable, Cherik Playlist, Erik Has Feelings, Erik is Crushing Harder than a 12-year Old Girl, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Green Day - Freeform, M/M, Songfic, boulevard of broken dreams, it ends happily guys, trust me please
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-23
Updated: 2017-05-23
Packaged: 2018-11-04 01:15:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10979328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Willow_Angel/pseuds/Willow_Angel
Summary: When Erik was twelve years old, he felt alone for the first time in his life.





	I Walk Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Two in a few days! Woohoo, go me! Wanna bet that next week I won't write shit?
> 
> I like this one, it proves that I'm not enTIREly a sadistic monster. I'm not sorry for SotP. This is partially me expressing my obsession over Cherik, and partially me proving that I can take an angsty song and turn it around! Woo!  
> Also, the ending is sketchy. I'm not sure I completely like it, but it's all I can come up with. Sorry XD
> 
> Italics on the right at the beginning and end are from "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" by Green Day. Italic quotes on the left are (hopefully correct) quotes from the movie. Don't quote me on that.
> 
> I hope you enjoy! :)

_My shadow's the only one that walks beside me  
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating_

 

When Erik was twelve years old, he felt alone for the first time in his life. When the bullet hit his mother, when her lifeless body hit the floor, when he turned and saw the blood pooling around her, the realisation hit him like _he’d_ been the one that was shot.

 _I’m alone. I have no one._ It echoed around his mind, over and over and over. It never stopped, and it never faded.

And so, he was alone for the rest of his life. He’d come to accept that. He never wanted anyone, not long-term at least. He was a dangerous man hunting dangerous men, and if he fell in love and dragged anyone into that and they got hurt, he’d never be able to forgive himself. To fall in love was to sentence someone to death, and he’d rather avoid that.

Until…

_“I thought I was alone.”_

_“Erik, you’re not alone.”_

And Erik found himself falling. He found himself falling for blue eyes and red lips, for late-night conversations and games of chess, for soft brushes of hands and minds. He was falling for a gentle English accent and the words it spoke, and he was falling for the way it said his name. He found himself falling in love with the enigma that was Charles Xavier. The thing that surprised him the most was that he didn’t want to stop.

At first he resisted the pull to the ~~beautiful~~ man. He didn’t want to drag such a good man into his mess. But as the conversations continued, he realised that he didn’t drag Charles into it. Charles jumped in after him.

Erik tried to leave. He got everything he needed on Shaw and tried to leave, but Charles stopped him. It was strange; Charles, usually so happy and friendly and tactile, was standing so far away with a sad look on his face. He made no move to come to Erik, and Erik had never wished for something more than for Charles to walk forward and pull him into his arms.

_“What do you know about me?”_

_“Everything.”_

Charles had looked at him, something foreign in those sparkling eyes. Then, he had turned and walked away. Erik, with shaking hands, had to restrain himself from running after him.

It was then that Erik had realised that he couldn’t leave Charles even if he tried. _So this must be what love is_ , he thought, standing in the cool air. Love wasn’t like a burning fire, and it wasn’t like he’d been stuck by lightning. It was a realisation, one of the first changes he’d welcomed. He’d smiled to himself then. Being in love with Charles in that moment was like being in love with the moon: so bright, so beautiful and full of wonder, and yet so far away.

He kept trying to walk away. He looked at the road, and the rational part of his brain told him that it was best to leave before somebody got hurt. He turned and walked back into the building.

_“Erik! You decided to stay.”_

He’d stayed. He stayed because he couldn’t leave. The look that Charles gave him, one of happiness and content, was worth staying for. He saw something else in Charles’s face, and he wasn’t quite sure what it was, and he didn’t let himself hope that it was the same as what Erik felt for Charles. Why would someone like Charles, peaceful and bright, love someone like Erik, angry and desperate? He couldn’t fathom it. He kept his feelings hidden, and just let himself love Charles.

He couldn’t imagine his surprise when Charles kissed him first.

They’d been talking – about what, Erik couldn’t quite remember – and Charles had been laughing. Erik had thought him so beautiful, with eyes shining like sapphires and a smile bright as the stars. Erik had been content to just watch Charles for a while, to just commit how beautiful Charles was in this moment to memory.

Charles had stopped laughing and was smiling kindly at Erik, not speaking a word. Erik must have let something slip, because Charles suddenly moved forward and kissed him. It surprised Erik, how comfortable it was, like they’d been doing it for years. Perhaps they had, in their minds.

It was short but sweet, and Charles had pulled away with the smile still on his face. His hand cradled Erik’s jaw like he was the most delicate thing on Earth; Erik had never felt so vulnerable in another’s presence before. But the funny thing was, he was completely okay with that, because he trusted Charles. He trusted Charles so wholly and completely that it scared him a little, but as Charles kissed him again he knew that he would be safe in Charles’s hands.

Charles’s mind brushed against his, just to show Erik how happy he was. Erik returned both it and the kiss, and Charles’s mind laughed again. It was the most beautiful sound Erik had ever heard.

It hadn’t gone further than kisses that night, because neither of them wanted anything more than that. They’d just wanted to lie together in a peaceful silence, knowing that for at least that one night, all was well with the world.

 

Erik smiled as Charles shifted in his sleep. He rubbed Charles’s arms, pulling him closer. Charles blinked awake, and found a place or comfortably rest his head on Erik’s shoulder.

“You’re thinking very loudly,” Charles murmured.

Erik smiled, running a hand through Charles’s soft hair. “Sorry,” he said.

Charles chuckled, and pressed a soft, warm kiss to Erik’s skin. “It’s alright,” he mumbled. “It’s nice to know you love me.”

Erik just pulled Charles even closer, if that was possible. Charles happily complied. “I love you,” was all Erik could think to say.

Charles tilted his head up, still smiling. He moved up and kissed Erik softly again, but this was one Erik could return. _I love you too,_ Charles hummed in their minds, which had long since gotten used to having each other there.

 

_Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me  
Till then I walk alone_

 

The best part about being loved by Charles, Erik decided, was always knowing that you were never alone.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments and kudos are always appreciated! :)


End file.
